CD: Neon Jungle - Welcome to the Jungle

Neon Jungle are a manufactured band consisting of four visually striking young women aged between 17 and 21. They have supported Jessie J in concert and, according to their press release were "were handpicked by iconic lingerie brand Victoria's Secret to perform at their legendary fashion show in New York". We can, then, discount the likelihood of them sounding musically groundbreaking, and instead start from a baseline judgement level that’s the musical equivalent McDonald's.

On that basis, some of this debut album is a momentary giggle. Produced by Australian-American rapper Snob Scrilla (who guests on “Can’t Stop The Love”), the French EDM-R&B duo SoFly & Nius and the London-based Japanese pop-dance producer Benjamin Berry (AKA Fear of Tigers), the M.O. is to sound like Gaga and Britney at their most Euro-techno, hi-NRG and gay club-friendly. Well, that’s the best stuff, such as the hit single “Braveheart”, which has a decent “#Selfie”-style hard house thump, the cartoon Diplo-lite reggaeton of “Bad Man” and the catchy, mouthy 2013 debut single “Trouble”.

The rest of it, predictably, runs too close to the tween-friendly sonic hell of Ellie Goulding/Katy Perry, ie bombast lathered in fake passion and sucrose. Even when there’s an obsession with hand grenades, as on “Louder”, the ersatz is still thickly spread. But no-one’s going to compare them to anyone decent anyway, quite rightly – well, except for Gaga and Britney who do this whole thing many times better and with more surprising spectacle. Neon Jungle, a transparently fabricated name, by the way, will be gone faster than you can remember anything at all about The Saturday's (ongoing) career, so there’s no point getting worked up. Enjoy “Braveheart” for 40 seconds and forget about them, just like everyone else.

Overleaf: Watch the video for "Braveheart"