When the protagonist of If I Had Legs I'd Kick You hears herself described as "stretchable, like putty”, her whole body stiffens in protest. 

Driven to near insanity by the demands of her mental health counseling job and her young daughter's mysterious illness, Linda is all raw nerves and quick recoil – a mother on the edge of a nervous breakdown. And who can blame her? Barely a few minutes into the movie, the ceiling of her small flat collapses in a flood of water and plaster, and that's just the start of her travails.

There's little reason to arrive early at the cinema these days, now that filmgoers are forced to endure as many advertisements as movie trailers. Once upon a time, though, the animated Looney Tunes were essential viewing before the main movie event. Now, 90 years after the first Looney Tunes short appeared, Daffy Duck and Porky Pig star in the franchise's first full-length feature.

Akinola Davies Jr.’s semi-autobiographical feature debut plunges two young country brothers into Nineties Lagos’s joyous energy and febrile politics, as they seize a unique chance to bond with their loving but largely absent dad.

Bart Layton’s class-conscious pulp fiction gives Chris Hemsworth his most convincing lead role since Thor as Mike Davis, an LA jewel thief on one last job while tentatively facing his hollow life. An all-star cast including Marvel compadre Mark Ruffalo, pictured bottom right, and Halle Berry happily sink into character parts to give the familiar heist set-up flesh and bone.

“We will sacrifice our souls for you!” yells out a class of kids in The President’s Cake, nominally addressing a leader hundreds of miles away – the Iraqi despot, Saddam Hussein. The slogan the children are forced to spew by their paranoid teachers is, on one level, mindless enough. On another, it goes to the heart of this exceedingly good movie: How much do you have to sell your soul in a dictatorship falling apart at the seams?

Emerald Fennell’s latest film begins with a sly joke. As the production company credits roll, the sound of distinctive creaking overlays them, increasing in frequency and intensity, and joined by male groans that reach a climax. She's at it again, we are being led to think, the gratuitous graphic sex.

Sexual abuse and violence, self-harm and sadomasochism, piss and postpartum blood – Kristen Stewart’s The Chronology of Water doesn’t flinch from showing the indignities, the messiness, and the trauma-induced choices made by its everywoman protagonist during her rocky journey.

It’s a story being repeated the world over – apex predators such as lynx, wolves and bears hunted to extinction, followed by the gradual realisation that a healthy ecosystem requires their presence.

Attempts to reintroduce them have met with varying degrees of success. In Yellowstone National Park, the grey wolves released 20 years ago have proved hugely beneficial, but whenever livestock are in the picture things get messy.

Fabled for (among other things) The Evil Dead, Darkman and Spider-Man, Sam Raimi made his last appearance as a director on 2022’s Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, which was one of the biggest hits of his career. Designed on a slightly smaller scale, Send Help may not overtake it commercially, but it mixes horror and black comedy with a castaway-survival theme to devastatingly entertaining effect.

When news first filtered through that the Scouse comedian John Bishop’s marital woes were going to be turned into a film, my brain lazily filed its director’s name under the wrong Bradley: Whitford, not Cooper. Having seen Cooper’s Is This Thing On?, I almost wish my brain had got it right first time.