tue 28/06/2022

CD: Chris Brown - Fortune | reviews, news & interviews

CD: Chris Brown - Fortune

CD: Chris Brown - Fortune

R&B's bad boy demands to be judged on bad music rather than unexpired crimes

Chris Brown: as many words for penis as eskimos have for snow

Like most things about the suited, bespectacled image of Chris Brown that stares intensely at something to his right from his new album’s cool blue artwork (currently: the remains of the delicious spicy chicken pizza I had for dinner), the title Fortune is not an accident. For Brown has, as anybody who hasn’t been living under some pop culture rock these past three years, been a very fortunate lad.

Although technically still on probation for the brutal assault of his then-girlfriend Rihanna in 2009, such is the esteem with which this man is held by his contemporaries in American pop that he was controversially invited to perform at this year’s Grammy Awards, at which he was also presented with a Best Album gong for his “comeback” album, F.A.M.E..

Of course, the more cynical among us might point out that Fortune pairs nicely with F.A.M.E. in another sense too, and could just be a reference to the thousands of sales that Brown is about to rake in from a devoted underage following that styles itself “Team Breezy”.

On Fortune, Chris Brown is anxious to style himself as a lover, not a fighter. Like, really anxious - a good 80 per cent of the album’s 14 tracks detail his prowess as such in enough detail to make your mother blush. He’s got a Magnum in his wallet which he is not afraid to use, he sings, which for the more innocent British readers is not a half-melted ice cream but rather a popular American brand of prophylactic. Throughout the album he beds any number of ladies, none of whom express any particular concerns about the artist’s violent tendencies towards women even in the face of vaguely threatening come-ons like "Girl, you better not change your mind" and silver-tongued wordsmithery like “wanna see your legs in the air, baby don’t worry about your hair”.

Fans may cry vendetta against reviewers who insist on bringing up Brown’s old (if unexpired) crimes, which is why it’s a relief that Fortune is a genuinely bad album. It's full of clumsily-disguised references to the singer’s penis and one track that describes in such excruciating detail how he intends to celebrate if the Mayans were right about the end of the world that I had to skip forward. It’s like Tom Haverford and Jean-Ralphio from Parks and Recreation performing a parody of the worst Nineties R&B, an analogy I’m so proud of I’m going to include a clip from the show below instead of a video of Brown’s.

You’ll get the idea.

Chris Brown is anxious to style himself as a lover, not a fighter

rating

Editor Rating: 
1
Average: 1 (1 vote)

Share this article

Comments

help me understand; Mr/ Mrs writer! what women are you referring to in your ill informed article? Is Rihanna plural in your head now? & who told you Team Breezy are underage? you'd be surprised! you cynics always are.

"which is why it’s a relief that Fortune is a genuinely bad album" You are obviously not a fan of the man, at least make an effort to come across as objective. F**king terrible review. You didn't even review the album, where is your insight into production, the different genres he transcends etc. You just wanted to RANT for no good reason. Also, how the hell did you get a copy of the album to review? No one which such hate would have been slapped with a copy of it Slap yourself.

Ms. Lisa...ignorance and bitterness is not a good mixture...have a blessed day:)

OMG WORST REVIEW EVER!!! YOU DIDN'T EVEN REVIEW THE CD!!! IF YOU HATE CHRIS THAN WHY EVEN "REVIEW" THE CD... YOU MUST BE A BITTER WOMAN.. SMDH

Hey guys! I hate women, obviously. Just wanted to clear that up.

It's a shame that people who are not happy at your review have not taken the time to come up with constructive reasons why or conduct themselves in a mature fashion. Typing ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS is not a valid argument. my biggest issue with chris brown is that despite having a capable voice, on the 'live' performances ive seen at awards shows, he has chosen to mime. If you cannot sing during your chosen stage performance, then change your stage performance, dont mime.

My biggest issue with chris brown is that despite having a capable voice, on the 'live' performances ive seen at awards shows, he has chosen to beat a woman. If you cannot sing during your chosen stage performance, then change your stage performance, dont beat a woman.

This is not an album review, you have hardly mentioned any of the tracks and anything to do with the production. You went down the same path as others by judging his life. Love him or hate him, the guy is talented. Had a quick listen to the album now and there are some tracks that deserve credit, Mirage for one is the stand out song. I believe this comment was more of a review that yours pal... much love, terry tibbs

Add comment

newsletter

Get a weekly digest of our critical highlights in your inbox each Thursday!

Simply enter your email address in the box below

View previous newsletters