Heartbreak Holiday, BBC One review - can it match up to Love Island?

The BBC’s version of Love Island has familiar ingredients: ten 20-somethings, many with pale manicures and hair extensions, on an island, in this case Mykanos. It’s not to everyone’s taste. “All I see is water, I don’t see no nail shops,” observes Melissa, whose argumentativeness causes her to fall out with people and who wants to improve her friendship skills.

The concept that they’re united by heartbreak – they’re not – is a shaky one, which weakens the programme’s impact. There are too many variables, not enough clarity about goals. Are they mainly just here for a nice Greek island break? Luke, who admits that some might think he’s a man slag, has a girlfriend back home and is here to test how committed he is. Not very, is the answer, as he’s soon two-timing Courtney and Erin, who was Miss Teen GB and has red eye-shadow on the corners of her eyes.

At least I think he is. It’s confusing because you mainly find out what’s going on from texts, of which there are many, especially between Lauren and her ex, who’s a bad-energy comfort zone and who she can’t manage to leave. The most impressive bit is when her staunch best friend Brooklyn joins her briefly as a surprise visitor (there’s one every week) to stage an intervention. “How can you let go if you’re still holding on?” she asks. Lauren isn’t sure. If I could block him, I would, she says feebly. “But you can,” rejoins Brooklyn. She’s so right.

Deano, an enthusiastic chap – “Oh mate, I’m gassed. What a wicked. I’m tellin’ ya” - has never had a girlfriend so perhaps he’s here to find one. All the girls are cushdie, anyway. Maxine is the poshest and did actually break up with someone a year or so ago. And she’s trans, having transitioned when she was 16. She hasn’t told the group yet. “I’m gay as fuck,” says Archie, who’s from a traditional Nigerian family and came out recently to his parents. “This is my opportunity to live my life and have a sick time.” Drama lies ahead, no doubt, and it's going to be lit. Continues tomorrow and all week.

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