Lou Reed, Royal Festival Hall

“I would cut my legs and tits off/ When I think of Boris Karloff." Those were Lou Reed’s opening lines at the RFH, taken from Lulu, his recent collaboration with Metallica and his most poorly received record since 1975’s Metal Machine Music. One critic called it a “contender for the worst album ever". Reed’s reply was that he does as he pleases. Last night that meant making it a third of his set .

It was a good call. Lulu has been terribly misunderstood, and just gets better with time. It didn't matter that Metallica were absent for this Meltdown show. Only a light readjustment was required from his touring band to recreate the same giddy mix of a vinegary old man describing the workings of a sexually ripe girl over the sound of an angle-grinder. It was quite brilliant.  

Reed’s voice went to some pretty bizarre places over the night

The evening, however, wasn’t just about Lulu. It was, also, as close as Reed gets to a greatest-hits gig. That meant Velvet Underground numbers rubbing shoulders with songs he felt weren't sufficiently loved, including representatives from albums like Berlin, Animal, and Growing Up in Public, and one song from Transformer. The first treat of the night for casual fans, however, was a netherworldly reading of "Heroin". Reed’s voice went to some pretty bizarre places over the night, yet this was about as close to the original record as he ever got. He sounded not unlike Dylan’s recent offerings.

But things didn’t stay so good. “Waiting for the Man” felt completely wasted in a seated venue, and “Senselessly Cruel” was stodgy. Twenty minutes in things were getting soft, but then guitarist Aram Bajakian started cranking out another James Hetfield impression. “I want to see your suicide/ I want to see you give it up/ for someone… who actively despises you,” croaked Reed, dressed in a black sleeveless t-shirt. For the next song the rhythm section doubled the pace, and the bug-eyed contrarian screamed “I am a woman who likes men.” Why did it feel so cathartic? Maybe Reed was expressing the mental breakdown we are all a couple of disasters away from; or possibly it was just something you just don’t see very often. But “Mistress Dread” was unforgettable. Except for those few who fled to the bar with confused and slightly frightened expressions.

After that the rest seemed pretty conventional, which was what was needed. In a brilliant stroke of timing the euphoric-sounding “Street Hassle” relieved the tension, and led to the contemplative “Cremation” and “Think it Over". Anyone who has ever heard a live version of “Walk on the Wild Side” would know he sings it as if reading from an upside-down autocue, but Rob Wasserman’s bass noodlings made up for that.  

Thank God he has chosen to stay weird

The set closed with Reed in reflective mood. “Sad Song” with its Philip Glass-isms was a treat. "Junior Dad" was something else altogether. Some say it’s about Reed’s father sending him for ECT treatment for Reed's bisexual tendencies. Its lyrics, however, have enough potency to move anyone who has felt like a disappointment. The way Bajakian played the guitar part was just gorgeous.

For the encore Reed picked up where his earlier rendition of the Velvet’s “Waiting for the Man” had left off with “White Light/White Heat”. But now no one was going to let a lack of dancefloor stop them. For over two hours, Reed had taken us on a tour of his febrile, schizoid mind. Now was the time to wig out. Scores of men and women poured to the front of the RFH. Reed thanked his band again and then left.

At 70, Reed doesn’t need to experiment like this. He could be living off his back catalogue. In 1997 the BBC memorably lined-up an all star cast including Bono and Lesley Garratt to make a video of "Perfect Day". Such a ghastly plundering of his hits could easily have been Reed’s pension. Thank God he’s chosen to stay weird.

Watch Lou Reed and Metallica's video for "The View"