Royal Marines: Mission Afghanistan, Channel 5 | reviews, news & interviews
Royal Marines: Mission Afghanistan, Channel 5
Royal Marines: Mission Afghanistan, Channel 5
From Helmand, without love

As if by way of riposte to Birdsong’s ever-so-pensive treatment of late, last night’s Royal Marines: Mission Afghanistan brought warfare back to the 21st century with an uncompromising thump. In Episode 1: Deadly Underfoot, Chris Terrill joined Lima Company, 42 Commando, as they took over from their Marine colleagues at Toki base, in the Nad-e Ali district of Helmand.
For 50-odd minutes we followed the unit as they went about their daily business, sleeping, eating, exercising, and taking regular strolls through fields sown with improvised explosives. There was a certain amount of shouty-shouty/shooty-shooty; but it was punctuated by significant spells of sitting about and reading FHM. Or holding stupid-pants fashion-shows. Or just having one’s down-time interrupted by the camera.
If you get hit, get on the phone, if you’ve got any arms and legs left
Terrill’s obvious familiarity with the squaddies yielded good, honest results; but he seemed, at times, to mistake them for his audience (or vice versa, perhaps). His voice-overs frequently dropped into an oddly dim, Attenborough-school register – “Remember, this is Taliban country: dangerous… lawless…” – with too many blokey Mad Max references dropped in for the benefit, presumably, of itinerant Geordie Shore habitués.
This sat uncomfortably beside the (sincere) straight-talk of the soldiers: “If you get hit, get on the phone, if you’ve got any arms and legs left.” Getting hit, it soon became clear, was a question of “not if, but when”. The viewer who’d made it this far in the belief that modern soldiers are immune from the immediacy of war was quickly disabused. These guys were operating from a mud-walled farm in the middle of nowhere: “a latter-day Rourke’s Drift.”
But patchy narration and B-movie sword-and-sandal music notwithstanding, the film was crystal as to its subject: soldiers going on dangerous patrols in order to maintain sitting-duck outposts the better to protect an abandoned village. Or, in the words of the Marines’ intelligence officer: “This area, in the long run, doesn’t matter at all.”
There was no ambiguity, either, about the priorities of the Marines. Their own briefings, delivered unblinkingly under Terrill’s lens, make it clear that their focus was on killing the enemy. None of them was unaware, of course, that “everyone’s a farmer who looks the same as an insurgent”, and that this causes issues with "hearts-and-minds"; but as political complexity goes, that was about it. These guys were not here for a seminar on Clausewitz. The nearest we got to contextual commentary was the occasional close-up of a poppy.
At the crux of the episode, the Marines went out on patrol for hours, in 50-degree heat, round “one of the most dangerous square kilometres in the world,” for the expressed purpose of getting shot at. But the Taliban won’t fight fair, they don’t come out and shoot: they just drift around on the periphery of your vision, then try to lead you into a minefield. (At one point, early on, the Marines, hamstrung by the need for legitimate "prosecution", watched a known insurgent scout walk casually out of shot because they couldn’t catch him delivering intelligence in plain sight.)
When they were finally pinned down, the Taliban responded by sending out kids in their place. The Marines’ verdict on this was as vociferous as you’d expect. The patrol decided to call it a day, but their frustration was palpable. “If they want to take us on, they should take us on. Don’t be fucking pussies about it.”
Sadly, next week’s instalment suggests the enemy were listening.
- Watch Episode 1: Deadly Underfoot on Demand 5
Explore topics
Share this article
Add comment
The future of Arts Journalism
You can stop theartsdesk.com closing!
We urgently need financing to survive. Our fundraising drive has thus far raised £49,000 but we need to reach £100,000 or we will be forced to close. Please contribute here: https://gofund.me/c3f6033d
And if you can forward this information to anyone who might assist, we’d be grateful.

Subscribe to theartsdesk.com
Thank you for continuing to read our work on theartsdesk.com. For unlimited access to every article in its entirety, including our archive of more than 15,000 pieces, we're asking for £5 per month or £40 per year. We feel it's a very good deal, and hope you do too.
To take a subscription now simply click here.
And if you're looking for that extra gift for a friend or family member, why not treat them to a theartsdesk.com gift subscription?
more TV
 The Monster of Florence, Netflix review - dramatisation of notorious Italian serial killer mystery
  
  
    
      Director Stefano Sollima's four-parter makes gruelling viewing
  
  
    
      The Monster of Florence, Netflix review - dramatisation of notorious Italian serial killer mystery
  
  
    
      Director Stefano Sollima's four-parter makes gruelling viewing
  
     The Diplomat, Season 3, Netflix review - Ambassador Kate Wyler becomes America's Second Lady
  
  
    
      Soapy transatlantic political drama keeps the Special Relationship alive
  
  
    
      The Diplomat, Season 3, Netflix review - Ambassador Kate Wyler becomes America's Second Lady
  
  
    
      Soapy transatlantic political drama keeps the Special Relationship alive
  
     The Perfect Neighbor, Netflix review - Florida found-footage documentary is a harrowing watch
  
  
    
      Sundance winner chronicles a death that should have been prevented
  
  
    
      The Perfect Neighbor, Netflix review - Florida found-footage documentary is a harrowing watch
  
  
    
      Sundance winner chronicles a death that should have been prevented
  
     Murder Before Evensong, Acorn TV review - death comes to the picturesque village of Champton
  
  
    
      The Rev Richard Coles's sleuthing cleric hits the screen
  
  
    
      Murder Before Evensong, Acorn TV review - death comes to the picturesque village of Champton
  
  
    
      The Rev Richard Coles's sleuthing cleric hits the screen
  
     Black Rabbit, Netflix review - grime and punishment in New York City
  
  
    
      Jude Law and Jason Bateman tread the thin line between love and hate
  
  
    
      Black Rabbit, Netflix review - grime and punishment in New York City
  
  
    
      Jude Law and Jason Bateman tread the thin line between love and hate
  
     The Hack, ITV review - plodding anatomy of twin UK scandals
  
  
    
      Jack Thorne's skill can't disguise the bagginess of his double-headed material
  
  
    
      The Hack, ITV review - plodding anatomy of twin UK scandals
  
  
    
      Jack Thorne's skill can't disguise the bagginess of his double-headed material
  
     Slow Horses, Series 5, Apple TV+ review - terror, trauma and impeccable comic timing
  
  
    
      Jackson Lamb's band of MI5 misfits continues to fascinate and amuse
  
  
    
      Slow Horses, Series 5, Apple TV+ review - terror, trauma and impeccable comic timing
  
  
    
      Jackson Lamb's band of MI5 misfits continues to fascinate and amuse
  
     Coldwater, ITV1 review - horror and black comedy in the Highlands
  
  
    
      Superb cast lights up David Ireland's cunning thriller
  
  
    
      Coldwater, ITV1 review - horror and black comedy in the Highlands
  
  
    
      Superb cast lights up David Ireland's cunning thriller
  
     Blu-ray: The Sweeney - Series One
  
  
    
      Influential and entertaining 1970s police drama, handsomely restored
  
  
    
      Blu-ray: The Sweeney - Series One
  
  
    
      Influential and entertaining 1970s police drama, handsomely restored
  
     I Fought the Law, ITVX review - how an 800-year-old law was challenged and changed
  
  
    
      Sheridan Smith's raw performance dominates ITV's new docudrama about injustice
  
  
    
      I Fought the Law, ITVX review - how an 800-year-old law was challenged and changed
  
  
    
      Sheridan Smith's raw performance dominates ITV's new docudrama about injustice 
  
     The Paper, Sky Max review - a spinoff of the US Office worth waiting 20 years for
  
  
    
      Perfectly judged recycling of the original's key elements, with a star turn at its heart
  
  
    
      The Paper, Sky Max review - a spinoff of the US Office worth waiting 20 years for
  
  
    
      Perfectly judged recycling of the original's key elements, with a star turn at its heart
  
     The Guest, BBC One review - be careful what you wish for
  
  
    
      A terrific Eve Myles stars in addictive Welsh mystery
  
  
    
      The Guest, BBC One review - be careful what you wish for
  
  
    
      A terrific Eve Myles stars in addictive Welsh mystery
  
    
Comments
Terrill was at his best
I have one thing to say about
completley agree you marines
Doing 'an extremely demanding
I am sitting here, quitely
War is a Scam (AKA: Cold and
I invite you (I beseech you)
To War Is A Scam, your kind
"...your kind of idealised
Tonights programm was
Thankfully he is on the road