CD: Morrissey - Low in High School

Morrissey inspires some pretty fierce adulation, but there surely can’t be a fan on the planet who loves Morrissey quite as much as Morrissey does. This is the man who was reported, lest we forget, to have insisted that his memoirs be published as a Penguin Classic. This move put him alongside Jane Austen, Emily Bronte, Graham Greene and, of course, Oscar Wilde.

It is a shame then that, despite having some pretty decent tunes on it, Low in High School is like having world affairs explained to you by a teenager who’s just spent the afternoon wanking and reading The Canary. Possibly at the same time.

Lead single “Spent the Day in Bed” is a key case in point. Mainsteam media is bad! The news is bad! The answer? Switch it off, don’t go to work and stay in bed instead. “No bus, no boss, no rain, no train” sings Morrissey. Oh, of course he does. A million people on zero hours contracts, but yeah – stick it to the man staying uninformed and not getting paid, that should sort it.

Mainstream media also comes in for a kicking on the swampy glam-swing of album opener “My Love, I’d Do Anything for You”, which sounds quite promising until Morrissey starts up with,  “Teach your kids to recognise and despise all the propaganda, filtered down by the dead echelons mainstream media”. That’s right Moz – you tell ‘em! All those bloody journalists in war-torn countries with their eyewitnesses and their facts. They should just stay at home in bed, tossing themselves off over conspiracy theories instead.

War’s bad, too (“I Bury the Living”). It’s not a witness statement anyone would choose to cross-examine I’m sure, but similarly, not one that really needs seven and a half minutes on the stand. “Who Will Protect Us From the Police?” is as thumpingly literal as you might expect with any hope of nuance obliterated by Morrissey singing of “tanks on the street, attacking free speech”, and finishing up with the line “we must be killed for what we believe” before practically yodelling “Venezueeeeeela”, until the song’s end.

Musically, it could well be the strongest release Morrissey’s produced in years. There’s plenty of melody here, and an occasional touch of Scott Walker in the delivery, which is very welcome. However, for someone who clearly thinks of himself as a great writer, it’s as far from a classic as it’s possible to be.  

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@jahshabby